We reported in February that Issac & Nneka Moses of Goge Africa welcomed a baby boy after 13 years of marriage. Here’s a picture of the couple and their precious bundle of joy. He’s called Chikamara (Kamara) Joshua Isaac Moses. Cute, I say!!
The couple spoke to Punch newspapers about their marriage and how they waited for their little one.
How long have you been married?
What has kept your relationship going after all these years?
Nneka: Besides love, I think it is trust. I go to bed with my two eyes closed. He has proven to me over time that I can trust him and once you can trust someone, you can do anything for that person. He makes me feel confident, like I am the best woman in the world.
How do you rekindle the romance fire when it starts to burn low?
Isaac: We could decide to take off to a hotel and stay there.
Nneka: It hardly burns low because we hardly have a dull moment. We are both out-going and adventurous. We could just check into any hotel and get away from people.
Your greatest marital challenge?
Isaac: The period before we had our first baby, Chikamara Joshua, Isaac Moses, who will be three months old on May 21, 2012. It was a challenge. We had one in the first year of our marriage but it was a stillbirth. I think that was the most challenging period of my marriage. It made me more sober and more mature.
How long was it before he came?
Isaac and Nneka: 12 years
In all that time, did your faith ever wane?
Isaac: No, my faith never shook because marriage isn’t just about having children. It is first about companionship, where you have a real relationship, the rapport. Children are additional blessings in marriage, not the primary reason. If you aren’t in love first or the companionship isn’t there, then if the children aren’t coming after three or four years of marriage, it will definitely pack up. When I began getting close to God, I was made to understand that God loves everyone equally and will always answer us, it may only take time, but He will.
Nneka: I will say thanks to Goge Africa because it has kept me very busy, leaving me with no time to brood over pregnancy.
Are you saying there was never a time it crossed your mind to search elsewhere for a child?
Isaac: No, never. I was just busy doing my show, travelling round the world. I was just having fun, believe me.
Were you ever pestered by family members?
Isaac: My immediate family understood that we aren’t God and that we can’t create children on our own. They also understood that all we could do was to get the best medical attention possible and leave the rest to God. There were relatives who kept pestering but the good thing is that I don’t live with them.
Nneka: My people were questioning because they love Isaac. They wondered why I wasn’t getting pregnant and if it was because I didn’t want to lose my shape as a television presenter. But they didn’t understand. Isaac’s mother told us not to bother about fasting, that she would do all the fasting that needed to be done on our behalf and she kept on fasting for all those years and for that, she lost an appreciable amount of weight. Now that she is in town to help take care of the baby, I try to force her to eat but she still finds it difficult to take three square meals.
Were you both at any point offered help from any quarters outside of prayers and the medical science?
Isaac: Oh yes, by some relatives. They would tell me about someone who knows how to mix herbs to wash the stomach clean and prepare it for pregnancy and all sorts of things. The truth is that, you reject anyone when they come to you with such suggestions or advice. You listen to them politely and tell them you will look into it.
Nneka: Even friends tried to take me to some certain woman who mixes herbs. Since my husband wasn’t desperate, I didn’t see the need to also be desperate. I was only desperate about my health. I made sure we ate healthily. As long as we were certified healthy by doctors, all we did was to wait.
So how did it happen?
Nneka: All through 2011, I decided not to talk or think about getting a baby or see any doctor and that was when it happened. I was pregnant for three months and I didn’t even know. It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn’t menstruated in a while because I had stopped making use of charts to know when I will be ovulating and the thermometers to check my temperature. So when my period stopped, I assumed it was menopause. I eventually did a pregnancy test and it came out positive. Immediately, I assumed that the lab technician didn’t know his job. We went elsewhere and it was positive. Instead of me to be happy, I thought I had ectopic pregnancy because I wasn’t feeling any symptoms of pregnancy.
Why were you pessimistic?
Nneka: I guess because I was getting to the point where I felt it can’t happen. I had an in vitro fertilization procedure that failed, so I couldn’t imagine I could be pregnant since I stopped any medical help. I was three months gone before I realised it because if I had known I was pregnant, I would have been extra careful. But I was just carefree, and happy.
Are there plans to increase your number of children?
Isaac: As I said, it is never about me. I have always been a contented man. So if they come, good.
What is it like being partners at work?
Isaac: Cool with me because she shares the same idea and passion for Goge Africa as I do. We totally enjoy what we do and I personally won’t choose any other job over what I do currently.
Nneka: It is easy because whatever decision we make is in the best interest of our vision and passion. There is no superiority contest among us. He sometimes allows me to make decisions and that really makes me feel good.