A Letter To The Other Woman … ‘Leave now. Don’t ever go back’

Some girls seem to think it’s perfectly okay to date married men or men who are in relationships. Well #Godiswatchingyouin3D. Found this write up and thought I’d share it. Some girls simply amaze me when they say ‘I didn’t know’ or ‘How was I to know.’ The writer had an affair with  married man, who ended up leaving his wife for her. They got married, had a daughter and then he left her for another woman.

In one paragraph, the writer states, ‘If you think it’s weird that you’re so close to him and not his wife/girlfriend/partner/fiancee or you start to feel butterflies in your tummy when he shows up… You should know its time to leave. However, some girls pretend and say ‘We’re just friends.’ Hmmmm!!! #Nufsaid


A Letter To The Other Woman

I didn’t have an affair with a married man when I ran away with him on a dark spring night. I had an affair with him the first time I took mental note of the shape of his shoulders and the way he smiled at me. That’s when it happened. When I sat outside a studio in my car in the middle of a March winter and called a friend, I told her that something felt weird, different. “It’s strange, isn’t? That I feel these things?” I whispered.

“Turn on your car. Leave right now. Don’t ever go back,” She said to me. Oh, how I wish I had listened. Instead I turned the engine off. Put one foot into the mud and began a journey that took me seven years in a very large, silent circle. Seven years of broken relationships. Of marrying him. Only to have him break my heart the same way he broke his other wife’s heart. To leave again and again. Leaving me with a child and an unknown future. God redeems, don’t get me wrong.

God redeems and rescues, and after five years of running, it’s taken two years of repentance, making amends, awkward conversations, humbling myself, swallowing my pride, and recognizing that I can only boast in His grace. I feel like Hester Prynne, and my scarlet letter is stitched into my words, my heart, my conscience. But, oh, if only I could have seen the depths of my depravity without this bleeding storyline. Without the carnage of hearts.

I can’t help but flinch a little when I hear someone say, “I would never do that.” Because really, I said the same thing. That’s the thing about deception. You don’t realize you’re being deceived. And sin is crafty. It was just the sweetest, juiciest bite that destroyed the story of Eden. So, when I hear a girl talk about a married guy, and I see the spark in her eye, I want to take her by the shoulders and say, “Turn on your car. Leave right now. Don’t ever go back.” 

Or if you think it’s weird that you’re so close with him and not his wife. Leave now. Don’t ever go back. Or if you feel butterflies when he shows up, and you wonder why he’s with a girl like his wife. When he smiles at you, and your stomach knots up and you linger in his gaze for too many beats. Leave now. Don’t ever go back.

If you’re the girl he calls when he’s fighting with his wife, stop trying to convince yourself that you’re just friends. Because I guarantee that there is a part of his wife that wonders why he turns to you and not someone else. Or her. And if you’re first response to that is “Oh well,” then I beg of you. BEG of you. Leave now. Don’t ever go back. 

I didn’t have an affair with a married man when I snuck out of my house to meet him in secret. It was the moment I didn’t turn my car around.

Culled from Nigerian Wedding Facebook page



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Author is an author at www.gistus.com.

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