There was a time I used to love to say this phrase to women… ‘I’d like to run my fingers through your hair.’ As impossible as that might sound or be now, it used to be something I looked forward to saying. Now I would probably have to wear ‘protection gloves’ for fear of breaking a nail or two in the process. Women’s hair now carry a silent warning that reads … ‘Look but don’t touch’ like a halo on top of their pretty heads.
What ever happened to those good old days when women used to have their natural hair? I might be shot for daring to ask something so ‘outdated’ but if we guys are honest with you, truly honest, we have a morbid fear of what lies underneath the weave-on you women all seem to embrace with so much pride and joy. Many a time, when I have tried to use my hands to explore, at the height of passion I might add, the head is docked so deftly, it puts Maradona and his famous head shot to shame! A bit of a passion killer I must say!
When you see a woman looking so invitingly gorgeous with her cascades of curls, you are better off just admiring it and leaving it as it is! Let sleeping dogs lie as they say. Probing too close for comfort might reveal ‘hidden’ ridges underneath not to mention some loose stitching that might just give way if pulled too hard which can happen depending on what time of the night it is… wink wink!
While some weaves are nice to look at and also sit well on the wearer, I really miss the feel of natural lustrous hair. I miss the bounce, I miss the texture and most of all, I miss playing with it.
Let’s leave the hair for a minute and delve into other sensitive areas. Now I know most men, or rather, the myth is that most men like their women well endowed in the chest region. Much as I agree with this to a certain extent, I can live with small-chested women as long as I like the woman herself.
What really gets me is this ‘push up’ bra matter. First I really think the creator of this item should be arrested for the greatest deceit ever. I mean really girls, how would you feel if we had a male version of a push up bra for our lower region that when taken off, you get the very unpleasant surprise of seeing the real thing, two or maybe even three sizes smaller.
Many a time, I have been fooled and each time I have to do the acting of my life by keeping my face expressionless which totally masks my huge disappointment! I just feel like saying to women, ‘You Cheat! You deceived me.’ You might say I am being too harsh but hey, who’s being cheated here really? Men are very visual. We have always been.
If you have proceeded ‘southwards’ beyond repaid, why not stay away from plunging tops with push-up bras? Some necklines should not go below a certain point especially with sagging boobs. I believe such women should focus on other assets like their legs, waistline, arms, etc. If you are not naturally well stacked or childbirth or weight loss has been unkind to you leaving stretch marks on the said boob, why would you want to still expose it for all to see? I don’t get it. Just like pot-bellied men should avoid tight shirts. It is not a pretty sight.
Then there is another issue…the finger nails! The other day, I had an itch on my back I could not reach and asked my girlfriend to help me scratch it. She did and it felt like she was rubbing my back with rubber. That was how blunt the nails were. They must have been an inch thick. And also, if you must wear false nails, must they be inch long red talons like the witches have in those comic books? How about keeping them trim enough to at least look natural? I believe they are called French manicure.
We all know you need to enhance your look but can you try as much as possible to stay close to the real you? Some of us look at some of these so-called fashionistas and wonder what they really look like first thing in the morning … not a very pleasant sight I’m sure.
Don’t get me wrong here ladies, I bet you are thinking I’m some old fuddy duddy whose wife/partner probably does not even wear make-up talk less of weave-on. I’d have you know, my partner is weave-on wearing, nail fixing, spandex wearing, push-up bra wearing, platform shoe wearing, designer bag carrying… but in moderation. She is not too far removed from what nature blessed her with… thank God!
I have used a pseudo name here because if she finds out I wrote this article, I am fried meat! After all said and done, my partner still remains sexy, confident, witty, funny, charming, and her personality has no part two! I will never sacrifice her for anybody. All the ‘extra trimmings’ she uses are nothing compared to the REAL woman inside.
Thanks for the audience!
This article was written by Mr Joe Bloggs