Reasons You Are Not Married

This article was written by a Amara  Blessing-Nwosu, a P.M.NEWS columnist, and this is her take on Nigerian women.

You are not married not because there is no man ready for marriage as a good number of men are looking for life partners. The major reason Nigerian men are now scared of marriage is waywardness. Men are now afraid because they don’t know who to trust and also not sure if that beautiful girl they are interested in still has her womb intact.

They are also afraid because of the high mountain ladies have suddenly placed themselves on as no woman wants to date a poor man any longer but are all interested in those with good cars and houses.

A man recently told me why he does not allow his girlfriends to come to his house. According to him, he doesn’t want a case where a girl enters his house only for her to refuse leaving because of the beauty of the house and cars she will see.

Isn’t it surprising how single ladies now out-dress married women with good jobs whose husbands are very rich? You are not married because the single men around you are wondering if they will be able to meet up with your ever-demanding lifestyle. Even when they know they can afford it, what makes them believe you won’t take a walk tomorrow if anything goes wrong?

Another reason is that with your good job and salary, they are even afraid to come near you as they wouldn’t want to be turned down.

I have a female colleague, a very pretty girl who lives in her own house and drives a posh car. She also has different businesses to show for it. Recently, I advised her to calm down a bit as friends I introduce her to who ordinarily would have gone for her, all run away after meeting her and come back to me with the same word, “Amara, this one go send me go village.”

Another reason you are going to grow old in your father’s house is this: You want a ready-made man instead of a growing man with vision. Are you aware that if you have not obtained favour from God, the man will decrease instead of increasing when you enter his house? Work on your character, the words that come from your mouth, your lifestyle, the way you carry yourself, the way you dress, the places you visit and then spend time trying to find favour before God because it’s only favour that can make your husband increase the moment you step into his life.

In fact, the moment a man proposes to you, there must be some positive movements in his finance if at all you have obtained favour.

It is never your duty to find a man. While he is working trying to raise money to sustain whoever he takes home to his mother, you should get yourself busy obtaining favour from God for you to be his source of blessing. A man knows when the wife is a source of blessing and that is the only time he cherishes you.

In the previous paragraph, I said the man should take you home to his mother. I don’t understand why you get married to a man who believes it’s just between the two of you. Read the Bible; they all took their wives home to their mothers. If a man cannot take you home to his people, something is wrong. Isn’t it surprising how many of us are married without knowing our husband’s village and his mother’s bedroom? Marriage, in the African culture, is not between the man and woman alone, the two families must be involved.

Hey, you have to stop moving from one prayer house to the other in search of miracles that are not coming even after you might have emptied your pocket. Go back to your room; deal with your character and bad nature that is filled with pride and disrespect for the elderly. Cut down on frivolities and that is not all, deal with your party and aso ebi spirit. You must also deal with that thing that gets you to aimlessly move from one end of the street to the other all in search of precious souls to destroy. Change that mentality that says you use what you have to get what you want; any man you get with your ass is as filthy, unreliable and irresponsible as you are.

Common girl, go deal with yourself first before you start blaming your step mother of being the one keeping you down. Stop blaming your neighbours and friends of standing on your way to progress. I just told you the bitter truth which your Alfa, Babalawo, pastor and Imam may never tell you. Stop wasting your time chasing shadows, go and deal with yourself first before complaining.

I know of a wonderful lady who sings so well that when she comes to lead in worship, miracles take place. People love her, but this lady is unmarried till date. It is not because men don’t go to her for marriage or because she is ugly; her number one obstacle is her character. They say there are many old single ladies in our churches; I think I know the problem and not that most of them wasted their lives in frivolities only to realise the last minute that they have to run into the church where they can get a brother to marry.

I am not trying to judge anyone’s past, but the issue is that even when they join those churches, their characters don’t change. It’s really appalling how some ladies talk to men simply because they are in the same church. Some of them fight everyone in their department in church while some live their lives begging from one member to the other.

What do have to say about ladies who fight for food during church meetings? Those guys would be foolish to see the stuff you are made of and still go ahead to take you home to mama.

I always tell ladies that if by the age of 30 no man had asked to know if you are for sale, there is something wrong somewhere; its either spiritual or attitudinal, but the truth is that it is always more attitudinal than spiritual.

You have been fasting and praying and going for all levels of deliverance but it seems nothing is working. What is your character like after all the prayers and religious devotions? It is sad when I see a single girl walk up to a married woman sitting with her husband and telling the woman to get up because she was there before her. You attend functions with extra bags to pack food and drinks and when it’s time to hit the dancing floor, you do that as if there is no tomorrow. What do you expect from life when you are the source of all quarrels in your neighbourhood, church and office?

This is the moment of truth and if at all you want to be delivered, your decision to deliver yourself is the first step to your breakthrough.


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Ugo is an author at www.gistus.com.
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  • http://michaelsunwayney.blogspot.com michael sun wayney

    you are damn right,i agree with you…….ladies are no longer themselves nowadays

    • cutie

      oh pls shut up your mouth…if you were yourself , you wouldnt be reading this

  • Tatia

    Amara, i disagree with you in principle.
    “I always tell ladies that if by the age of 30 no man had asked to know if you are for sale, there is something wrong somewhere; its either spiritual or attitudinal, but the truth is that it is always more attitudinal than spiritual”

    Not everyone is keen on getting married or being proposed to at age 30. Marriage is not the greatest achieve ever!! Women are trying in many ways to better themselves and their families, making the above statement is nothing more than backward. A man who is intimidated by a successful woman is no MAN in the first place. this is the reason why women get abused in this part of the world and get away with it because even our fellow women think marriage is the ultimate source of happiness and achievement.That one woman is married at 21 and another at 35 does not make the former better.

    please do not jaundice the self worth of young women in your column.

    Please note that every other aspect of bad/unruely behaviour is a general comment and well received. Everyone should behave impeccably. it is a MUST. Some women still have all thses good qualities and do not have spiritual issues and yet are single. its no crime neither should they be made to feel worse off for it.

    thanks for you good piece. welcone.

    • ope

      thanks what u said is so correct!

    • Anon

      Well put & so true!

    • angelray

      Tatia thank u very much, Amara who are u to judge women, that u are fortunate to be married that is if u married , does not make u a perfect woman, is unfortunate that you reason thru your anus and not your head, am sure you are the one that feeds your husband and children so you want every other woman to end up miserable like you.
      So u are advising women to marry men that cannot feed them all in the name of marriage, what is wrong in a woman wanting to live a comfortable life, alot of marriages are crumbling everyday, may i ask u why?
      Wolud u advice single ladies to marry men who are criminals and beaters , is it not better u remain single that marry a man that will ruin your life, please when your daughters grow advice them to marry criminals or better still let them marry jobless men so that u and your husband will take the responsibility of feeding them, please if you don’t have anything to say, stay off this page, if i may ask, at what age did this so called amara marry.

    • angelray

      Tatia thank u very much, Amara who are u to judge women, that u are fortunate to be married that is if u married , does not make u a perfect woman, is unfortunate that you reason thru your anus and not your head, am sure you are the one that feeds your husband and children so you want every other woman to end up miserable like you.
      So u are advising women to marry men that cannot feed them all in the name of marriage, what is wrong in a woman wanting to live a comfortable life, alot of marriages are crumbling everyday, may i ask u why?
      Wolud u advice single ladies to marry men who are criminals and wife beaters , is it not better u remain single that marry a man that will ruin your life, please when your daughters grow advice them to marry criminals or better still let them marry jobless men so that u and your husband will take the responsibility of feeding them, please if you don’t have anything to say, stay off this page, if i may ask, at what age did this so called amara marry.

    • angelray

      Tatia thank u very much, Amara who are u to judge women, that u are fortunate to be married that is if u married , does not make u a perfect woman, is unfortunate that you reason thru your anus and not your head, am sure you are the one that feeds your husband and children so you want every other woman to end up miserable like you.
      So u are advising women to marry men that cannot feed them all in the name of marriage, what is wrong in a woman wanting to live a comfortable life, alot of marriages are crumbling everyday, may i ask u why?
      Wolud u advice single ladies to marry men who are criminals and wife beaters , is it not better u remain single that marry a man that will ruin your life, please when your daughters grow up advice them to marry criminals or better still let them marry jobless men so that u and your husband will take the responsibility of feeding them, please if you don’t have anything to say, stay off this page, if i may ask, at what age did this so called amara marry.

    • HARRY UGWUANYI

      The simple truth about human nature is that he would be uncomfortable if the truth of his very essence is revealed to him. Man would always seek for an excuse to escape the responsibility of the action which he entered with his free will. That is simply a demonstration of bad faith and self deception. You know quiet all right that what AMARA was saying is an indisputable fact about Nigerian women but you are only trying to escape or rather negate that beautiful truth. You have only succeeded in demonstrating your bad faith and self deception.

    • Ovo Odiru

      thank you very much tatia, for bringing out a very good point. I am so suprised that Amara will just throw away women’s dignity as if all women were born from the same womb. Everybody is different and so is our way of life. Eccl 3:1-11 talks about time for everything under the heaven and amara just went on talking with just the physical eyes. its too bad and its a blow on women. we know that some women are too material but you cannot generalize women. no you cant. when you walk side by side with God you will know what i am talking about.

      do you know that some women get married and they want to run out?
      do you know that some women get married and are widows under 6months?
      do you know that so many are married and are not happy in their homes?

      Amara pls dont talk one sided, you made it look like men dont have problems at all and that women are their problem. And we both know that is not true. next time if you want to talk about women and men make sure you are spiritually equiped as well so that you can be reasonable. stop talking like the human being that you are who sees only with the eyes, and you know when you talk like that people will want to support bad things. people like to hear what the ears want to hear. Thank u.

  • Bitty

    I think this article is trashy. In the 1st place, her presentation of whatever she calls a problem shows an attitude problem on her part. While i agree with her on the ‘seeking divine intervention on problems that can be solved locally’. I completely disagree with her on several others.

    A woman should have self-esteem and should dress properly. Yes, men have become very demanding their choice of what their woman should look like. An unmarried woman tries to make herself more appealing to them men whom she hopes to attract.

    Meanwhile the men while it is possible that you friend has issues, it is also evident that the men that have ego problems. I think it is chauvinism that a man who earns as much as a woman will expect her to live a less impressive life.

    • Lola

      Thank you Bitty. I am sorry but this Amara sounds retarded. She may have run into some bad luck in her life or probably in her marriage but that doesn’t give her the right to generalise this way.

      Well I guess that’s where freedom of speech and freedom of stupidity comes in right?

      • cutie

        yeah..freedom of speech and stupidity comes into good play here. this amara must really be a cave woman

  • danielle harst

    she is a big joker………….

  • Porshe

    You shouldn’t make such general comments. There are a number of people who got married as teenagers or in their early 20s and are now divorced. Marriage is not necessarily the highest achievement a lady can attain. You don’t need just any Tom, Dick and Harry to ‘complete’ you.
    There is a time for everything… When the right guy comes, everything will fall into place!
    So get with the times and stop being archaic!

  • Anonymous

    Bloody Thrash

  • Eru

    Porshe and Lola, ROFLMAO, Anyway my dear, I don’t think you did your research properly. your article clearly shows how unexposed and unenlightened you are.

  • Mj

    Na true you talk o! We don talk tire.dem no dey hear o.

  • Anonymous

    i dont see any harm in what ugo wrote.why should anyone call her article trash or say she is retarded ,the least anyone would have done is to agree or disagree and u give ur reasons ,i dont know why u people should insult her.please lets stop dis negative attitude towards our fellow human beings

    • Anonymous

      Anonymous
      says:
      April 15, 2012 at 10:35 PM
      i dont see any harm in what Amara wrote.why should anyone call her article trash or say she is retarded ,the least anyone would have done is to agree or disagree and u give ur reasons ,i dont know why u people should insult her.please lets stop dis negative attitude towards our fellow human beings

      • Cynthia

        I read Amara’s article with great interest and she does make some important points, which are particularly useful to black women living in the diaspora. So many of us are still unmarried today because like Amara said, we want a ready made man- I did too until I met my current bobo and fell in love with him- he has just graduated with a master’s degree, he left his home country (france) to move to england in search of better opportunities and in addition to this, he is trying desperately hard to improve his english. He has recently found an unpaid job as a marketing consultant in order to obtain some relevant experience before venturing out for a better position. I have learnt to appreciate him, encourage him and not make demands on him

    • Anonymous

      You’re right…..Its a different opinion,Say you own and lets hear you out…She really did a great work,moreover this are some of the things we battling with most here in Nigeria or Africa if i’m correct.

      • seunbabs32

        You’re right…..Its a different opinion,Say you own and lets hear you out…She really did a great work,moreover this are some of the things we battling with most here in Nigeria or Africa if i’m correct.

  • Lola A.

    Amara,

    If single women choose to dress better than married women with rich husbands and what not, it is their perogative. Being single does not mean you have less than married women. There are a lot of single women that earn more and are considerably wealthier than married couples. I am a single woman in my early 30’s and I earn much more than a majority of my friends that are couples.

    Marriage should not validate anyone. It is just a marital status. This is part of the reason why there are so many married miserable Nigerian women. There is so much more to every woman than her marital status. Your accomplishments, achievements, values, morals, are examples of things that account for your self worth if you are a confident person.

  • Betty

    I won’t Want to insult this young lady but I think she should just go somewhere and think about her life. Madam perfect, who told her marriage is the greatest achievement on earth. Oh I beg your pardon.

  • G e

    I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THOSE WHO WROTE THOSE NEGATIVE COMMENTS ARE SAD/BITTER SINGLE WOMEN,IF IN YOUR OPINION U THINK AMARA IS SO VERY WRONG … 2 WRONGS DON’T MAKE A RIGHTT SO BE POSITIVE.

  • G e

    I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THOSE WHO WROTE THOSE NEGATIVE COMMENTS ARE SAD/BITTER SINGLE WOMEN,IF IN YOUR OPINION U THINK AMARA IS SO VERY WRONG … 2 WRONGS DON’T MAKE A RIGHT SO BE POSITIVE.

  • Roland

    Guys, I don’t think that the writer’s original intention was to insult the public. It is a piece that is supposed to spark debate. Let’s voice our opinions without slinging insults at people. We can have robust debates without insulting anyone.

    • Ada

      My Point Exactly……

  • cutie

    Debate??? this Amara or whatever she calls her self must be sick. She obviously does not take pride in her self as a woman. so what rubbish does she have to say about men who are not married at 35 and above..idiot!

  • A married woman

    When I read this I laughed so hard at your ignorance, and obvious lack of polish. Sorry dear, you are very unitelligent. You cant say this in the midst of smart, intelligent and succesful people (male and female), your opinion will be shut down so fast, your head will spin. Reading this obviously cals into question the circles you move in because their association with you obviously hasnt influenced you positively, so you are still sitting down in your backwards and crass hole, you think you are a local champion. I shudder when i think of the state of your mind, because it is obviously so empty, and shallow, you cannot see the wood for the trees. The authors of this blog, I address you, how could you let this mindless drivel be published, who vetted this write up. You have simply vindicated and uplifted the rants of a foolish person. Someone who shouldnt be allowed to speak in public, not to mention on the internet, which has a global audience. You guys have torn down the reputation of this site (I had never heard of this site until someone sent me the link). @ G E, I am a married woman, so your opinion, is just as shallow and mindless as Amara.

    • Ovo Odiru

      im so happy to hear you say this as a married woman. thank you so much.

  • A married woman

    Now, to Madam Amara, Mrs I am married, that makes me better than a single woman. I had to send a comment, so that weak single girls who read this will not feel like failures, which is EXACTLY what this sad excuse of a human being, wants them to feel. It is a sorry state of affairs when a woman willingly downgrades herself, from the high and lofty role a woman should be and descend to the level worse than a slave. First and foremost, marraige isnt the height of achievement for a woman. In fact it isnt even an achievement at all, it isnt a competition, it doesnt define who you are neither, does it give you the right to think you are better than a single woman. Marriage is the continuation of the love, trust, dedication and devotion that two people have for each other, and they are taking it a step forward in the presence of the Lord and man with their vows to be faithful to each other and work towards a shared goal in an environment of mutual respect, where each party recognises the contribution of the other, and will support the other to be the best they can be. It isnt a crown, or a medal of good behaviour. A marriage is only an achievement after the couple have worked together as one, and achieved all the goals and dreams they had prior to the marriage, and raised a family with love, stability and happiness, and the product of such a home are children who have left the house and are successful adults, who contribute positively to the society. Now that is an achievement, not two rings, and a 3 letter title before your name.

  • A married woman

    As far as madam here is concerned, a married woman who lives with an abuser (physical, mental and emotional), is better than a single woman. At least she is married, she should be thankful. A woman who lives with a man that cheats on her (as so many married nigerian men do) is still better off than a single woman. A woman whose husband cant provide for his family, and keep them in a comfortable lifestyle, should be thanking her stars, she found a man to marry her, at least she is better than those single girls Amara described. I am back to the circles that Amara moves in, because if that is her description of single girls, or those are the single girls she sees around her, mehn, she must be very razz, because the single women I know are smart, beautiful, hard working, educated, polished, strong, determined and focused, any man will be lucky to marry them. They are still single, because they have refused to sell themselves short just to acquire a title. A man should also be worthy of you, it isnt just a one way street. Lets stop idolising this men, they are human and not gods. A man should also come into your life, and make it better, make you more productive, push you to achieve more, not just the other way around as Amara suggests. He should not tear your dreams down but jump on the ladder with you, supporting you to the top. but, if the kind of men amara moves with are the types that expect the woman to be the slave, the whore and the secretary, to manage their lives for them, then i’m sorry, I will advice my sister to take to her heels and run. I’m sure Amara married such a man too.

  • A married woman

    Amara I am sorry for any daughters and sons you will raise, because women like you are not fit to be parents. You will pass down that rubbish to your offspring. Yes I’m married, but I did everything I wanted to do before that. I got a first class education up to post graduate level, i worked all over the world, I travelled, I partyied (yes partyied), i had admirers, i had boyfriends, my first car was brand new, i bought my first flat as a single girl. My husband, an achiever himself appreciated all that, because he knew that by marrying him, i wont drag him down, i wont look at him as a god, alpha and omega, and be expecting him to take care of my life and solve all my problems. Someone who will be by his side, who can attend a board meeting if needed, make presentations to clients, entertain his business colleagues, and chat with them intelligently. Someone he can be proud of, not just a mrs at home.

  • A married woman

    So, if a woman puts herself on a mountain, she knows her worth, and she doesnt want to be easily accessed by the empty barrells at the bottom of the pile, so she wants a man who will make the effort to climb that mountain and meet her, her mate of equal worth, who will appreciate her whether she is 21 or 30, it doesnt matter. A man who himself knows the worth of a good woman, will struggle up that mountain beecause he knows he is getting a prize. Not just the easy ones at the bottom, simpletons who will cling to him fast, because they want to be married (the Amara types). A real man is the one that isnt afraid of your success, because he knows you will also help him succeed, you will be there to push him, and guide him with your expereince, coming home to you will be the best part of his day (not just for food and sex – that is easily replaceable and can be provided by any woman) because he can discuss with you about what is important to him, and your input will be very important. A real man wants a woman who will challenge him to succeed, who will smoothen his path on the way up, someone who is witty, and interesting, makes him laugh, his rock, his shoulder to lean on, someone who he can be vulberable with, someone who will hold his hand through thick and thin, someone he can talk to till the cows come home and wont bore him to tears. Someone who is the best part of his life, his true mate. That is what we should be teaching our daughters and single girls to be, not the nonsense that amara wrote. You need to be intelligent, and wholesome, to be all that to a man.

  • A married woman

    We have a generation of weak men, who dont really know what it is to have a good woman. just to get married sha, and leave madam at home, you can be chasing skirts from lagos to maiduguri, and it is those kinds of men that Amara thinks women should remodel themselves, give up all the have ever believed in and worked for so they can get married, to such useless men. Such men are not worthy of you. Any single girl out there reading this, hold unto your faith, be the best that you can be, and a man who deserves you will come along. Don’t sellout don’t be threatened, and never let morons like Amara make you feel terrible about your decisions. After all it is your life not hers. In life, we’ll have women like amara who tear down women who want the best for themselves. Shame on you Amara, you are a disgrace to womanhood. Enough said.

    I believe I have put up a more productive article than what the owners of this blog allowed. We should strive to be uplifting in our utterances, and not the opposite. To the owners of this blog, I must say, shame on you. I am guessing whomever controls this site is probably a man, or worse still an ignorant married woman. I can see how you and Amara are probably friends. You deserve each other.

    • Ugo

      Hello A Married Woman,

      We apologize if the above article offended you. Amara Nwosu is a
      P.M.NEWS columnist, this was an article culled from P.M News. It
      was an interesting read and we published it for people to air their views.

      This article was not intended to ridicule anybody.

      • Michelle

        I read through the comments of ” A married Woman”, and I wanted to give her a hug. Yes I agree with her that this should not have been published on this site at all, if you guys have a sense of decency, dignity and respect to women. To read that you culled it from P.M NEWs (gutter trashy journalism, if I might add), makes it even worse. We all know the kind of audience, P.M News targets. For anyone to read that artilce and think it deserves even more promotion, by including it on a blog like this, does make me wonder if we Nigerians have any standards at all.
        To A married Woman, thank you very very much. Your husband is indeed a very lucky man, and from what you wrote about him, I’m sure he knows how lucky he is. I am going to send this link to tons of my friends both guys and girls, married and single, not to read the rubbish that Amara wrote, but to read your comments, gather encouragement and learn from it. Your coments are the types that deserves promotion and spreading about. We need more women like you, not the Amara types (as you mentioned), and the owners of this website, who believe single women are target practice for the worst kind of ridicule.

        • Ada

          A Married Woman & Michelle, you both have a point but I think that people can make a point without being demeaning to others. Remember that blogs are in business to bring in traffic sometimes posting controversial news.

          For instance, Nigeria has useless leaders, that shouldn’t stop blogs from publishing news of what is going on in Nigeria?

          This article might have been written by a dim witted female but the truth is most women in Nigeria think this way. This article is good in a way that intelligent and exposed women can comment and enlighten the less exposed women of the facts of life. But I also believe that intelligent women can express their view without resorting to cheap insults and bitter comments.

          I looked up Amara Nwosu, the woman was forced into marriage at 17 and has about 4 kids and her husband divorced her for another woman. I guess that is why she is bitter but we don’t need to stoop to her level of ignorance.

          Like you said Michelle, “I am going to send this link to tons of my friends both guys and girls, married and single, not to read the rubbish that Amara wrote, but to read your comments, gather encouragement and learn from it. Your coments are the types that deserves promotion and spreading about. We need more women like you, not the Amara types (as you mentioned)”, maybe that is the point of this article….for enlighten women to tell us otherwise. We are lucky Amara put down her thoughts in writing imagine she didn’t…….

          • Cute Achiever

            Welldone FBI agent Ada, I was so upset reading her article that I skimmed through most of the follow up comments.
            Waaaat?? You mean Amara is actually divorced??? Funny she kept that quiet. In line with her lop-sided views, I won’t be surprised to hear her say that she’s gotten a far better deal haven been married and divorced (possibly at the peril of her children) rather than remaining single until that appointed “life-partner” came along. Judging on how much of an authority she is on marriage, I will put her divorce down to (to use her words) “spiritual or attitudinal” issues!

        • Tolu Oloruntoba

          Abeg…because you don’t agree with her views makes her unintelligent? Please find a seat……

          All of you sound unintelligent right now, can’t you make a point without resorting to gutter trashy insults yourselves?

          You think A married woman is the ish right….you can’t read her bitterness from her comment? She sounds so angry over another person’s views. .Only the crippled criticize

          Please on to the next story…..mschew

          • Michelle

            Tolu, If all you got from her comments was bitterness, then I’m sorry to say, you are just as unitelligent as Amara. Of course she should sound angry, because this article was meant to make another fellow human being (a single girl), feel bad about her unmarried status. How cant you see that. Why should we be supporting someone else’s views when they are mean harm to other people. You may as well join Boko Haram, under the disguise of it is their views that christians dont deserve the right to live. All the comments of it is her view it is her view is BS, in my opinion. What is wrong is wrong. What a married woman wanted to do was fight fire with fire, so that a single girl reading this article feels like there is someone else on her side. Only a narrow minded person, will read this article, and just conclude, it is her view. Yes we are entitled to our views, but when that view causes someone else harm, you are crossing the line. At least it is Boko Haram’s view to bomb innocent Nigerians, I dont think you will agree it is their view if a friend or a family member was killed. IF a married woman was insulting, I say go ahead, mschew. Some poor girl somewhere will read this, and be depressed. Nigerians please be real and stop glorifiying rubbish

        • Tolu Oloruntoba

          Intelligence Check 1: Lets use your example Boko Haram – They are killing people because they do not accept other religions and religious view…you are murdering Amara becuase you don’t agree with her views…who is the Boko Haram here………Not so intelligent now are you?

          Intelligence Check 2: What I implied in my initial comment was that you can make a point without stooping to Amara’s level and still hit the nail home. I am not supporting Amara so nobody is glorifying rubbish or supporting someone else’s views when they mean harm to other people.

          Intelligence Check 3: Besides if a single confused girl came here right now, I can assure you that your incoherent ranting will not help. If a child came to you with this article, is this how you will respond?

          The fact is women in Nigeria are thinking this way, if you want to convince them they are wrong, then calmly compose something intelligent to counter Amara. Then we know you really care what single girls will do or think when they read this. Mschew

  • LMAO

    LMAO, if you know how silly this your article sounds ehn. so madam amara, someone like annie macaulay because 2face has finally married her, is now better than a single woman. So in your opinion, single girls should follow in annie’s shoes, so that a man can marry her, and finally she becomes more important in the eyes of society, she is now married. Anofia. If day dash me that man, I will curse the person that offered him.

  • Tolani

    Lmao!!! Jesus Christ, some people are retarded. A married woman, your visit to the hospital is long overdue….

  • Chidinma Anunandu

    Yes my sister tell dem d bitter true because that what Nigeria ladies are suffering 4rm.

    • http://Funmiowadokun.blogspot.com Anonymous

      U ave said it all. Let those who ave ears hear o!

    • Anonymous

      Terrible.. you are the worst! please being single is not a curse! Dnt be a hater because you settle for the first sucker that came your way. Please get your brain re-examined. This article is so dumb, you generalised all single women as persons with a disease, and you put men on a pedestal. Please stop…………………………………..

    • malcolm funmilayo

      Its a gud one sis.thanks.God ll increase u

    • Louda

      Amara sounds like you got married at the “right” time and that in a way makes you think that those who didnt marry on time like you are all bad girls. Issorait me I’m 28yrs old, I live with my brother, i am a virgin, I am a good christian, I dont club or attend parties, dont even have a boyfriend, I attend my church with all diligence. Do I have suitors? Yes I do but I havent seen one I love deeply enough to walk to the alter. Does that mean I am the cause of my being single? Some ladies out rightly make up their mind not to marry. Please let us stop generalising. Some of the things she listed here are way out of proportion. I cant remember seeing a young lady fighting for take home food in d church before, it is often married women that do so. You will never know what these ladies go through until you have been there. Do you think those who are married are married because they are perfect? Married woman you have said it all, lack of exposure is really bad that’s why people like Amara will come to a place like internet and give a one sided opinion of a situation she doesnt know much about.

    • seunbabs32

      You’re right…..Its a different opinion,Say you own and lets hear you out…She really did a great work,moreover this are some of the things we’re battling with here in Nigeria or Africa if i’m correct.

    • Anon

      Seunbabs32 ???

    • Cute Achiever

      “A Married Woman”, God bless you my sister for your objectiveness! Amara was extremely narrow minded in allll of her views. To generalise in that manner is out of order. I would be more inclined to listen to her if she had raised sensible points like: ratio of women to men, the availability of responsible men with goals in place, the fidelity issue to mention a few. Amara, when you say ‘no woman wants to date a poor man any longer’ what does that mean??. I don’t know how you were raised, but I think that if a man feels he’s ready to take on this “gift” as the bible puts it, he should be ready to follow on from where her father’s left off – why should any girl settle for a life of poverty just because she’s married??? If the world had more narrow minded people like you, it will be full of poor ladies who have chosen to exchange their comfortable life for a less preferable one, but with the much revered (in your opinion) ‘Mrs’ title.

    • Cute Achiever

      What’s your beef about single ladies out dressing married women? Again another baseless generalisation. I don’t know in what circles you move in, but I have both single and married girlfriends who all dress extremely well, so I suspect you must have a specific issue. I suggest you ask your husband to spruce you up (assuming you didn’t follow your own advice to marry a poor man!). It appears that you know and hang with losers (i.e. men who have a low self worth), if that’s not the case, then why will a man not be content and confident in who he is, rather than feel threatened by the success of his woman – something he should appreciate, encourage and celebrate? In my opinion, any man that cannot step up to me is not on par with me, and I cannot be a help meet to. Are you suggesting that if we women have worked hard and have the nice fruits of life to show for it, we should suddenly give it all up to charity because we don’t want to scare off any potential spouses? (as you loosely suggested to your colleague who’s doing well for herself?), this is 2012 girl, wake up and smell the coffee!!

    • Cute Achiever

      Also, who died and made you the authority on all women??? How do you our dear lady Amara know that we want a ready made man??? It’s infuriating when you voice your silly singular opinions, but act like we had a forum and appointed you chief spokesperson! Also, you’re so contradictory, I don’t know if it’s worth the effort but I’ll go on. On the one hand you advised your colleague who was setting herself up nicely to “calm down a bit”, and on the other hand, you state “.. obtaining favour from God for you to be his source of blessing”. I don’t get your point are you saying a woman should be lazy sitting at home just praying?? You mentioned God, favour e.t.c. so I’ll go with your analogy . 1. What does a help meet do? 2. What kind of woman does Proverbs 31 talk of? 3. Lydia in the bible was a praying woman, but was that all that she was? I can go on, but before I embark on self harm, I pray you’ve got the point.!

    • Cute Achiever

      It’s a BIG shame that in 2012, women still enjoy slating their fellow women, taring them with a very tainted brush (much like the ‘one size fits all’ package), insinuating that all single 30 something ladies are scum because they have failed culture and society by remaining unmarried by the age of (dare I say) 31. I would have had a teeny weeny bit of respect for you if you had suggested we not be extra picky when agreeing to a mate, rather than make such bold and baseless statements (stating we all have appalling attitudes, wear tight revealing clothing, walk the streets seeking who to destroy, visit occultists and go fighting for food in church)!! If you truly were a columnist as is acclaimed that you are (and I find quite alarming), I would have expected you to delve into topical issues like the emergence of the multitude of babes and infants (parading themselves as men).

    • Cute Achiever

      I refer specifically to the ones who love to live off women, and have chosen to ignore all of God’s principles on the expectations of a man/husband. By so saying, I’m referring to the men Pastor Matthew Ashimolowo has aptly termed “Bozos” aka clowns – who regard themselves as “God’s gift to all women”, those who either choose to sit on their bum rather than work and earn a living to support their families (they play the victim all the time and constantly claim the whole world is against them), or worse still are content to remain in a dead end low income job for the duration of their earning years, with not vision or challenge to drive them; thus forcing the role reversal of the woman to being the family provider.

    • Cute Achiever

      These kind of men like I mentioned earlier have a low opinion of themselves, and this Amara, I feel is a better window into why some of us have chosen to remain single for the time being. I say chosen, because yes its a choice, a lifetime choice for that matter and as such I in particular do not take it lightly and have chosen to exercise my right to say NO when ‘Mr Wrong’ or ‘Mr Rightnow’ comes calling. In closing I will say men aren’t really scarce (they’re a dime a dozen), but a real MAN – (i) one who has a vision and is not afraid to share and run with it; (ii) who really knows his worth and does not feel inferior because others appear to know theirs too; (iii) who will appreciate the favour and gift (that is the wife) that has been given to him by God may remain elusive until God’s appointed time as no two destinies are the same. Final food for thought: the reason marriage is yet to happen for some ladies just might be that God needed that bit of extra time to finish off polishing his attitude …

      • Truth Lover

        one question pls…. are u even married?

        • Anonymous

          If that’s the most poignant question you can ask after all the valid points raised, then I’m hang my head in shame for you ..

    • http://[email protected] Timmy

      @Evelyn.U beta go & sit tight,dats anoda bad habit,picking holes 4rm evrytin.Is virginity d only tin dat makes a lady gud?Check ursef b4 it’s too late.Best of luck.

    • popo

      Acute aciever

      are u 4 real?

    • Chineze nwabufo

      FEDPOLY NEKEDE OWERRI My dear alot of tnx to all u said

    • Truth Lover

      God Bless u, I was truely blessed….. those that have a problem with it, hate the truth and are probably unhappily waiting or will die in the father’s house.

    • http://www.gistus.com/421/reasons-married mimi

      Why can’t we all tell ourselves the truth, if u are a Nigerian lady and you are here pretending that our norms do not matter, then you are a big fool, no matter your level of achievement in everything( education, money, career etc) when you get to age 40, a Nigerian woman, single at that age, u will be a very unhappy person. Yes marriage is not a priority but there is time for everything and a wise woman will know when its time for her to make the call and get married to the right man, all of u are here calling names and writing derogatory remarks about this ladies article, she may have said somethings which I do not agree with, but I must say that some of the things she wrote here are quite true, if we can be truthful to ourselves and admit how we feel( those of us above 35) when we see our friends who married years back who are happy in their marriage come to social functions with their husbands lovingly holding their hands and smiling at each other, or how we feel when we see these our friends with their children well dressed and well mannered. Let us not paint negativity, yes some married couples aren’t happy, some are divorced, some have assumed the responsibilty of the bread winner of the home but what about those of them that are happy, that are enjoying the companionship and love that marriage comes with. To all of u that have said negativity about marriage and about men, may u die a single woman, say Amen if marriage isn’t going to be your top priority after everything in life( for Nigerian women).

      • Anonymous

        Mimi (aka Amara), u ooze senselessness and a minute taken to respond to u is a minute wasted. I gather u’re not married yourself, so I guess your prayer/curse starts with you .. In future, u’re best advised to follow the points being raised, and stop talking crap!!

      • chioma

        God bless u mimi

    • smart

      oooOOOOOoooOo my god,that is what the lady was telling them about there mouth the way they talk den dont av manners as all of you can see it now especially TATIA and BITTI and OPE all of then please tell me how re then goin to find mr write wit this behaviours, ok girls sorry is ur life soo go on and live it as you can ,,,,,,,,,,,,good lock ???

    • Anonymous

      @ MIMI, WHO ARE U TO CURSE ANYONE ”To all of u that have said negativity about marriage and about men, may u die a single woman” ?
      DO U KNOW U RE THE WORSE OF DEM ALL HERE?
      MARRIAGE WT THE RIGHT PERSON IS GOOD,YET MARRIAGE DOES NOT DETERMINE UR POSITION IN HEAVEN.
      YOU DO NOT TIE A ROPE TO A MANS NECK TO TAKE U TO THE ALTER.
      EVERY ONE IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OPINION…PLEASE BE CAREFUL OF HOW U LAY CURSES…IT MIGHT BOUNCE BACK.

      • True talk

        Amara, you just hit the nail at the head. Truth they say is always bitter. Most Nigerian laddies are nothing to write home about these days. For example, look at our generation actresses that think they have money, how many of them are still living with their husbands. What is the cause? Amara has said it all.

      • Tola

        I think it is totally uncivil, juvenile, vicious and somewhat idle to respond to someone’s piece of work with such derogatory statements as most of the ones stated above. We are all entitled to individual opinions, this is Amaka’s therefore it should be respected. The most is to opine either in favour or against her written piece rather than proffering belittling statements which I consider unnecessary. There is no attraction in criticism except it is constructive and presented amicably. Anyway, I agree with Amaka on all however I’m a bit sceptical about the age criterion for marriage. This is because one of the major factors of broken marriages today is the undue pressure placed on single ladies. If you have another thought Amaka, you would reason with me that some Nigerian ladies go into marriages at the awareness of their age, not love, securities or wealth but simply AGE! Of course a lady who is approaching her thirties would be ready to jump into the arms of the first suitor just because she has developed the mindset imbibed by her culture which is the “get married before thirty syndrome”. This is unacceptable! Such a lady is definitely liable to marry the wrong man which cripples the whole effort in the first place. There’s a saying that, “rush into a marriage and rush out”. In all honesty, that couldn’t be said better. If a lady isn’t married by thirty, there are a number of other reasons that could be the cause and trust me it excludes spiritual and attitudinal reasons. How about phobia? What if she has been heartbroken in the past and scared to move on? How about frigidity? Some women are sexually unresponsive and emotionless. These are psychological problems Amaka not spiritual or attitudinal problems. Women is such category need love, warmth and assurance. The moment we realize that age is not a prerequisite for a good wife or happy marriage, women will most likely take more informed steps before embarking on such a lifelong journey.

      • Anonymous

        Dis is a message all singles must learn from,thanks.

      • Anonymous

        exceptional website post. I

      • Bisi

        Why isn’t this Amara re-married? Ms Know-it-all! Hypocrite!

      • Married Chika

        Amara writes like a retarded 4th-grader. This is the thrashiest crap I’ve read in a long time. PM News you will lose your readers if you keep publishing this girls jargon.

      • Emeka

        A dose for single ladies

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